(Mal is voice only, Dina and the dog are the only ones on screen)
MALANEY: Hey, hey, hiii Linny-loo. (in that annoying voice people talk to dogs with) Hey Dina, Hey! What are you doing?
DINA: Being distracted by you.
MALANEY: That’s not how it usually goes, is it? Do you want to tell everyone about what finally happened in our epic candy crush battle?
DINA: Yeah. We’re getting a divorce. So…that’s how that ended.
MALANEY: I caught her cheating again, she was on that candy crush cheating website. And you know the rules, that’s a forfeit.
DINA: A forfeiting of a wife…! (laughing at herself as if she is very clever)
MALANEY: Oh you’re so funny.
DINA: Are you recording me or are you recording you?
MALANEY: I am holding the phone at you…
DINA: I don’t know which way the camera is recording, you’re over there! Why are you recording me, in bed, in my pajama hoodie?
MALANEY: It’s not like you are going to bed, look at how much make up you’re still wearing…
DINA: Okay… internet people… I mean I assume this is for the internet? Uh I don’t know why this video is being made right now, but just stop watching this and go to bed, that’s what I am going to do since it’s like basically midnight
MALANEY: You know, internet people are just regular people and it’s 8:45…
DINA: Listen, the clocks are all wrong. Was it just me today or did every hour feel like it was two and a half hours long?
MALANEY: Hey, hey, so guess what?
DINA: Are we getting to the point of this? Are we in the vicinity?
MALANEY: Guess who is coming on the pod on Friday?
DINA: Oh… no.
MALANEY: It’s YOU. As a real guest this time! Aren’t you so excited?
DINA: Did you contact my agent? Is the show doing so poorly that no one else will come on?
MALANEY: Is Lin your agent? The last time you were on, we actually had negative downloads
DINA: Yes. She says I can’t go on, and also I’d believe it.
MALANEY: So you are going to talk about birthright citizenship…
DINA: (groaning)
MALANEY: the politicizing of the caravans…and… anything else, your choice that you think people should know about.
DINA: Anything?
MALANEY: within the topic of discussion!
DINA: Seems like an unnecessary restriction… but okay. It’ll be nice to bore someone other than you with this stuff.
MALANEY: I know! That’s what I was thinking. Okay go to bed now.
DINA: Well, now I’m kind of awake…
MALANEY: Hey, hey, hiii Linny-loo. (in that annoying voice people talk to dogs with) Hey Dina, Hey! What are you doing?
DINA: Being distracted by you.
MALANEY: That’s not how it usually goes, is it? Do you want to tell everyone about what finally happened in our epic candy crush battle?
DINA: Yeah. We’re getting a divorce. So…that’s how that ended.
MALANEY: I caught her cheating again, she was on that candy crush cheating website. And you know the rules, that’s a forfeit.
DINA: A forfeiting of a wife…! (laughing at herself as if she is very clever)
MALANEY: Oh you’re so funny.
DINA: Are you recording me or are you recording you?
MALANEY: I am holding the phone at you…
DINA: I don’t know which way the camera is recording, you’re over there! Why are you recording me, in bed, in my pajama hoodie?
MALANEY: It’s not like you are going to bed, look at how much make up you’re still wearing…
DINA: Okay… internet people… I mean I assume this is for the internet? Uh I don’t know why this video is being made right now, but just stop watching this and go to bed, that’s what I am going to do since it’s like basically midnight
MALANEY: You know, internet people are just regular people and it’s 8:45…
DINA: Listen, the clocks are all wrong. Was it just me today or did every hour feel like it was two and a half hours long?
MALANEY: Hey, hey, so guess what?
DINA: Are we getting to the point of this? Are we in the vicinity?
MALANEY: Guess who is coming on the pod on Friday?
DINA: Oh… no.
MALANEY: It’s YOU. As a real guest this time! Aren’t you so excited?
DINA: Did you contact my agent? Is the show doing so poorly that no one else will come on?
MALANEY: Is Lin your agent? The last time you were on, we actually had negative downloads
DINA: Yes. She says I can’t go on, and also I’d believe it.
MALANEY: So you are going to talk about birthright citizenship…
DINA: (groaning)
MALANEY: the politicizing of the caravans…and… anything else, your choice that you think people should know about.
DINA: Anything?
MALANEY: within the topic of discussion!
DINA: Seems like an unnecessary restriction… but okay. It’ll be nice to bore someone other than you with this stuff.
MALANEY: I know! That’s what I was thinking. Okay go to bed now.
DINA: Well, now I’m kind of awake…